We danced

Each night that I am home one of favorite parts of the evening is the time that I spend in each room tucking my children in, talking for a bit and then praying with them. I can think of no better way to celebrate a good day or end a hard one.

Yesterday we received the news that we dreaded, the news that we had prayed and hoped we wouldn't hear. Downstairs in Larry's office we cried; however, outside that room I prayed that God would give me the grace and strength as a mother to not turn this home into a house of mourning.

Knowing that many of you are grieving with us and praying with us, I wanted to share with you how Amanda's evening went. Although the mood here was at times emotional, at times quiet and more somber...there was also laughter, homework, a table filled with Joshua and college buddies playing cards and eating (of course), and more laughter.

Evening came and, as usual, Anna is always our first to bed. We had a sweet conversation and bedtime prayers. She is thinking of making (another) Get Well Card for Amanda. She is so dear. When bedtime came for the others, I was able to first spend time with Caleb. We talked, we prayed, he is the most awesome young man. He has such a heart for his sister. Next I shared sweet, quiet prayers and a kiss for Abby as she had already fallen asleep waiting for me. As I told her I loved her and turned to quietly leave, she whispered she loves me too and for me to tell Amanda goodnight and that she loves her. Those two have such a wonderful sister bond, it is very special.

I then headed up to Amanda's room. I wanted to be certain and stay with her as long as she wanted this evening. Praying for wisdom, and control as I headed down the hall, I could hear Amanda placing a record album on her player (she loves old records and the player was a gift from Larry and I this Christmas). Strains of the opening songs from "The King and I" filled the hall. Next came her sweet voice singing along and as I entered her room, she turned to me and smiled. We talked a little, quiet, precious words that are private to a mom and her beloved daughter at the end of a hard day, and then she stood, she smiled and held out her arms high and low as a ballroom dancer would - and we danced and we twirled, and we sang along to the song "Shall We Dance?", and alone together, we danced.

Later, as I lay beside her holding her hand as she fell asleep, through my tears I thanked God for every night that I had gotten to tuck her in, for every quiet talk that we have shared through our years as mother and daughter, for the strength and heart that she inspires me with, and pleadings for His mercy and healing touch to cover our daughter.

I only wanted to cry, but she wanted to dance.

And so, we danced.