Days have gone by since our last post and I am certain that means many of you have checked this site and thought of our family, wondering how our days here were going. Thank you for continuing to think of us and for remaining faithful during the silence.
As I sit now to update you, words are hard to find. How do I describe these days? The first thoughts that came to my mind is that they were just ordinary. But then I quickly realized, no day is ordinary to us. Each moment, each event feels amplified, as though you are always on alert for the "ordinary" things that may truly be significant. And so, as I look back over the past days I find that they weren't ordinary at all...they were truly priceless.
There was laughter, celebrating and love...the sound of our children all together is always my very favorite commotion. The days they spent all together around board games, puzzles, and Wii was our greatest gift this Christmas. There were two new college graduates this Christmas - Joshua and Matt - and we are thrilled for them and so proud of this accomplishment in their lives. A first wedding anniversary was celebrated with Haley and Matt finally standing in the snow that we had hoped would have been a part of their wedding day. Family and friends who shared time with us added to the love that filled this house.
There were some bittersweet moments...the end of Christmas break found us saying "good-bye" to Haley and Matt as they returned to their Arkansas home. A road trip to Ohio ended with Amanda, Abby and I outside of Abby's Ohio dorm and with sisters - their arms wrapped tightly around one another - whispering their own private goodbyes to one another.
These days have held some pain as we have struggled to find the right combination of medications to keep Amanda comfortable. New areas of pain and discomfort are now a part of Amanda's days forcing her to utilize more medication and disrupting her nights. Visits to the CBCU have confirmed that her lab counts have remained steady during this time of oral chemo; however, we will now have a scan done here in Columbia next week as well as a whole group of them during our return trip to Houston.
And, if you could have listened in, these days have held some quiet tears and soft words. Words of love and reassurance when sleep won't come. Quiet talks about wonderful adventures we have shared and hopes for ones still to come. And words of encouragement and of support for the strength that this journey demands from us.
No, these days weren't really ordinary at all. They are precious and they are ours.
And we will treasure each one and every one that we are given.
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8 comments:
God's abundant grace surrounding and carrying each of you is so evident. It saturates each and every word you write. What a gift you have to recognize and celebrate each day. So many of us walk through life failing to walk in gratitude for the gift of each new day...thank you for reminding us to live in an attitude of gratitude!
-Denise's new best friend
You do the impossible, the improbable, you make me envious of the journey you are on. I would never ask for cancer to befall anyone in my family but if it did, I hope that we would have the grace, the faith, the hope, the words, the appreciation of the "ordinary" days that you describe.
God's blessings on your family. May His mercy and peace be with you as you continue to turn ordinary days into adventure and precious memories.
Your post made me realize, if perhaps just briefly, at how foolish I am in not appreciating God's love and mercy so much more of the time. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
The post from "-Denise's new best friend" expesses my thoughts very well. I loved the last portion. Thank you for reminding us to live in an attitude of gratitude! Continued prayers for all of you from Wayne and Faye
Your family continues to amaze me. We continue to pray for healing and strenghth for Amanda and the entire family. Yet, everytime I read this blog. You some how give me strenghth. Your words are written so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
We will continue to fight this with you.
You were right, I've been steadily checking in to see if you had updated. When there was no update, I was hoping that meant that your family was too busy soaking up the joy of being together for the holidays and appreciating every moment for what it was...while so many of us failed to realize the blessings all around us, to search for ways to be grateful, to comprehend the sweetness surrounding us....
Thank you for opening our eyes, for sharing your family's journey, for putting into words feelings we can identify with and leading us into gratitude....
Here in Iowa, I am praying God's tender mercies around you and begging Him to clear the path for Amanda....for all of you...Prays continue....
Others have said it well. Yes, I've been checking too. Praying and hoping your days were filled with blessings. Denise, you are blessed with a gift of writing. We shall continue to pray for all of you and endeavor to be more grateful for all we have. Elaine
You are a reflection of the power, majesty and grace of God. Wish I knew where Haley and Mark lived in Arkansas. I would drive over and give them a hug!
Becky
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