Home from Houston and where we go from here

Home from Houston...wow. It is great to write those words. To catch you up on all that has happened since we listened to that beautiful sound of the ringing bell, I will start back in Houston. This will take a bit so you might want to get a drink and get comfortable. Just a warning.... :-}

Amanda and I had packed up most of the apartment on Tuesday so that following the "ringing of the bell" we could head back to the apartment and load up the car. After many trips back and forth to the parking lot, Amanda, Larry and I stopped to say a prayer thanking God for His presence and protection during our time there. Although we had been counting down the time until we would finally be back home, when it actually came time to leave, it was a bit emotional for me. Our apartment had been our home throughout this summer... our place of quiet and rest when we needed a break; our place of laughter and puzzles as we passed the time; and our place of joy and happy memories as family and friends came to share days with us. It had been prepared for us with thoughtfulness and prayer, and we could feel that each day that we were there. We had truly been cared for during our stay.

But, walking out that door meant we were on our way to Missouri and we couldn't wait. One very long drive, a few stops for gas and burgers later and we finally pulled into our Columbia driveway around 4:30 a.m. on Thursday morning. Hugs, kisses and greetings filled our home. Amanda was so excited to be back home and Abby, Anna, Caleb, Joshua, Grandma, Tucker and Daisy Mae (our dogs) were just as excited to have her back. (Big sister Haley was excited too but since she was already back at college we included her by sending a happy "we're home" text message to her.) By 5:00 a.m. we had everyone tucked back in...Abby and Amanda snuggled up as sisters do and were giggling and whispering as I headed down to bed. That sound was as sweet to me as the ringing of the bell on the day before.

The next bell I heard was not near so sweet as the one Amanda rang. At 6:20 a.m. my alarm went off and for the first time this school year I got to awaken my children for school. Abby and Anna were first. Although there hadn't been much time for sleep, we were all so happy to be sharing a school morning together again. Once they had gone, it was time to awaken Caleb. Again it was great for me to be a part of Caleb's morning. Amanda needed rest and so I didn't wake her but she had other plans. By late morning she was up, showered, dressed and ready to see friends. When Abby and Anna arrived home from school, she hopped in the car and she and Abby headed down to CFS to say hello as her friends got out of school. I understand from the stories there was quite a celebration at her arrival. Friday morning found her up and preparing for school along with Caleb and clearly Amanda was ready and excited to begin her Sophomore year at CFS.

And now, from here...Larry, Amanda and I attended a "exit" meeting with each of Amanda's specialists. Dr. Anderson (her Osteo oncologist) spoke with us in detail regarding the treatment she has received and what is in her future. The main points are as follows:

• Amanda has received and completed the top treatment protocol for Osteo sarcoma. Along with the specialized radiation that she had in Houston, there is no other treatment available for her at this time.
• Dr. Anderson believes that her tumor was quickly stopped and contained by the chemo she received. Scans done at MD Anderson still show no sign of her tumor growing, spreading or moving.
  
• Because of the large amount of chemo that she received prior to the radiation, he does not feel that there would be any benefit at this time to having her receive addition chemo now that we are back home.
• Radiation is very hard on blood counts and so for the next few weeks Amanda will have a weekly lab count to monitor that her counts are recuperating and returning to normal. When they are again within the normal range, we will discontinue the lab work.
  
• Both Osteo and radiation have weakened the area around her hip and lower spine and so, as a precaution, Amanda is on a reduced or limited impact restriction for at least one year. Restrictions include such activities as running on concrete, jumping or anything that could cause her to fall and land hard.
• We will return to Houston around the Thanksgiving holiday for her first follow-up appointment. A chest x-ray will be taken here in Columbia before we travel down and then a PET scan will be done there with Dr. Anderson reviewing the results of both tests. Assuming that both continue to show no growth or spread of the tumor, we will return home until the next follow-up appointment. We have been told that as long as her scans remain clear we will do follow- up appointments approximately twice a year.
  

And so we begin a new stage of our battle with Osteo. This one is different. It is a daughter joyfully returning to life as an active teenager, and parents who are tentatively struggling to give her the freedom to do so. Amanda talked with Dr. Anderson regarding her desire to be a cheerleader and he gave her permission to do so within the bounds of the impact restrictions. She was thrilled. She can't be a flier (the one they throw up into the air...but I was fine with that!) :-) and she needs to adjust her routines to limit jumps, but otherwise she is cleared for participation.

I know how to focus my days when we are doing battle. I know how to watch and log details and give pills and shots. I know when to call the hot line and how to pack for a hospital stay. I know when Spaghetti-o's are the only thing that will taste good to her and that she should stay away from pink lemonade when she is doing a chemical count. And I know that sometimes the best treatment is when we just curl up together and rest. But now I have to learn how to let her go again and how to share in her excitement as she returns to a schedule free from infusions and treatments. And I have to learn how to not give into the panic and the fear that can fill my heart when I think that for the first time since our diagnosis, no one will be monitoring that tumor until the end of November.

Then I stop and remember, someone is watching, monitoring and guiding this cancer experience and He has been since the very beginning. My Bible is filled with verses that remind me of His love for Amanda and that He already knows the days of her life and the plans that He has for her. And so I am trying to re-learn to rest in that peace and trust all over again. And rest I need...with four teenagers in the house and two in college, my days and my heart needs to be filled with my love for Him and for my six children who are all happy, beautiful, wonderful, very active young people filled with energy and life. And although their schedules often wear me out, I wouldn't have it any other way.

One day, when I get to heaven and hear bells, I think I will remember the sound of the bell that Amanda rang in Houston. Until then, I think my favorite sound is going to remain the laughter and the commotion that fills my home in Columbia. No more quiet Houston apartment, we're back home and all together again...now that sound is truly heavenly.