The news from last week's MRI was a devastating blow for us all. Although any parent of a child with cancer will tell you that we all understand - only too clearly - that there are no guarantees in this journey, there is always the hope and the yearning to hear the words of "clear, clean, no up-take".
When the call comes, and when the words you hear instead are tearful and quiet, there is this desire to just stop, pull everything in and just hide. The old stories of the pioneers, circling the wagons to pull together for protection and strength is so accurate. And I tried, I really did. I made the calls and wrote the emails that I had to, the prayers were requested and then I began trying to draw our wagons in tight. There was just one problem. One of our drivers does not circle very well.
Amanda refuses to circle. When I let everyone sleep in and planned a day of shopping, ice cream, movies and fun after we received the results...she went to her 1st hour class before coming home to join us. When I offered a second day without school, she declined and spent the evening studying for an exam. When I didn't answer the phone, she had friends over. And when I offered to make the call and cancel a media appearance that we had scheduled, she refused and was the star of a walking tour of the Univ. Hospital for the Zimmer Radio Group's upcoming Radiothon.
You would think I would learn. For the past three years she has led; guiding us all, teaching us how to live in a world of uncertainty. She has made us laugh, cry, pray, and dance more than we ever knew we could. And she never has circled well.
This afternoon Amanda will have her PET scan to determine if there are new spots of cancer anywhere else throughout her body. I woke her just a few minutes ago and I hear her even now, getting up and preparing for her morning classes. I have to go, I want to follow her. She may not circle well but she has led us on an incredible journey and I am not going to miss a moment of it.
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13 comments:
Prayers beyond words, heart felt offering of one soul to another, one spirit, joined with the wagons. Live, laugh, love. There will be time for circling the wagons, but not when the enemy is still just on the horizan. My heart and prayers are with you guys!
Andy U.
Wow. Amanda is amazing. Praying and praying. Keep up with her Denise.
Annette
Amanda is a good wagonmaster! She seems to know where to go and what to do. Its good to have a leader-;-).Thanks for your update. Love to you all, and prayers too.
Jodie
We are awaiting the results with much prayer and anticipation and fear.
Love always,
Dad and Mary
I can still remember the little 4 year old who could smile and get her sibblings and daddy to join in on what she needed or wanted. Her smile is a trademark of Amanda's then and now. It seems so hard to imagine the reactions and actions of a 17 year old when Amanda digs in with her determination, strength, faith, love, and encourage those who know her to join with her for the next journey she'll be going through. Her faith in her heavenly father to take her daily through this journey is very evident. I can't even imagine and have no clue what to say except you all are in our prayers. At our church we are going to begin a study "What you would do if you had one month to live?' As Christian it questions why we do what we do and waste so much time on things that add nothing to glorifying our Lord. Amanda has set the example for us older people with the way you handle each curve thrown to you. I believe that there is a book to be written with the McDaniel family journey of each season they have gone through and how Amanda will continue to amaze each one of us and we all wait with each update from mom and dad how she is going to handle this day. You truly are a treasure to us all who has been allowed to intude on this journey with you through your web site. Thank you and may your godly example only strenghten us in our walk . You remind me of David up against the giant and you just never say no you just go forward with faith.
God bless each one of you
Vonna
Amanda,
You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
Much love to you and the family!
Susan
(cousin to your Mom in Heaven)
Others have said our thoughts very well and there is nothing we can add. We've been praying for all of you especially today.
The Carrs
Found this in a group of prayers and poems I collected into a book for my best friend who battled cancer:
Rejoice in hope,
Endure in affliction,
Persevere in prayer.
Romans 12:12
"If at times you are in such confusion of mind that you seem totally incapable of calming yourself,have immediate recourse to prayer. And persevere in it in imitation of Christ, Our Lord, who prayed three times in the garden to show mankind that only in conversation with God can afflicted souls find haven and refuge." --Dom Lorenzo Scupoli
Know that prayer abounds on your behalf and that so many people,some you know, some you don't, carry you with them as they go about their day and glance toward heaven with each thought of you...I know this to be true, as I am one of them!
God bless you!
My family and I are continuing to pray for you all. Your faith and determination are such an inspiration.
Sarah Bottorff
I had the privilege of watching Amanda work the crowd, smiling all the while, at the Coyote Hill open house Sunday. She hasn't left my mind or heart since; she's truly remarkable. And, Denize, thenks for you poignant and inspring reports on her saga.
Denise -- Sorry for the typo on your name. Gene
Tearing up, lump in throat, and smiling at Amanda's incredible strength from God with you all. That we're praying is a given.
- Denise's new best friend
Your baby girl is amazing. She is an inspiration to me! I will continue to pray for you guys.
Loved seeing you at Coyote Hill.
Many blessings to you! Our God is a big, big God.
Cathy Cox
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